I was a child of 14 years. My parents just separated. It was a difficult time. No explanation, no consolation, no hug.. Nothing.. I was confused. Questions remained unanswered. I didn’t tell it to my friends and girlfriends. I embarrassed myself. What I did, I became a ‘ bully. ‘ That was my way of dealing with the pain I felt in me.. My soul was damaged and I didn’t know how to deal with it in a good way. I was a child and lost in my feelings..
At that time I was at the second class of the high school and I assaulting a child from my class. I forgot through this my own pain, that I could not handle. Multiple children assaulting that girl and so I did. At that moment I didn’t realized what an impact that could have to another person. By the Dean of the school, I was summoned to appear with his question, ‘ Why are you assaulting that girl? ‘ The only thing I could answer was, ‘ Because she lives on a farm. ‘ How ridiculous as that sounds. We were assaulting the girl because she lived on a farm. ‘ Boe ‘, we called, among other things, if she walk on by or we long past her. My English teacher called me also with him. He said that it was nothing for me, to assaulting a child. That was not the way he knows me. And he was right, it was not the person who I was. It went against my feeling in. I hated people who had a fight or were yelling at someone. I knew it at that time, I had pain and shared it on a wrong way. I was assaulting an innocent child..
I realized that what I had done, was wrong. So terribly wrong. I have no excuse for this. I can only share that my soul was damaged and I had no idea how I had to express myself at that time.
What I want to say is, watch your children. Ask them questions, answer the questions that they have, consolation, hug them.. Be the arm they need, be the person that they need to lean against. I don’t say that it’s good what bullies do. It should never be approve!
I ask attention for the fact that children who assaulting other children, that they may be damaged and hurt as well. By not talking about it because they can’t or because they don’t dare, they will find others ways to deal with the pain, to forget their hurting soul.. Often they just don’t know how.
Therefore, give your child attention in every difficult situation. Talk and be the person they need. Let everyone in his/her value, no matter if it’s a child or an adult. We all have just as much right to live on this world as anyone else.
I’m embarrassed for what I did to that girl.. Now I know better. I hope that people who are hurt, have people they can go to. To talk, to listen, to learn.. For a better world.